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20 Things To Never Say To A Bartender

This list is for those of you who have never bartended.  Want to get on a bartender’s shi*t list?  Say any one of these things.

 

Common-sense, decent members of society realize these questions are rude/ annoying.. but nonetheless I have HEARD ALL OF THEM many times during my time behind the bar.

  1.  “I don’t know what I want – surprise me!”
    rbj
  2.  “What is the cheapest/ strongest drink you have??”
  3. “You should really smile more.  Are you in a bad mood?”
    smile2
  4. “We want FUN shots!!”
  5. “So what’s your REAL job?”
  6. “How much money do you make a year/ night/ week?”
  7.  “Hey chief/ boss/ buddy, can I get a…”
  8. “You hook me up, I’ll hook you up.”
  9. “HEY **whistle**!”
    whistle
  10. “It’s my birthday today!  What do I get for free?”
  11. “Make it strong.”
  12. “Can you make me something yummy?”
  13. “I know the owner.”
    owner 2
  14. “What’s your favorite drink to make?”
  15. “Do you have a iPhone charger?.. You don’t? Why not?”
  16. “Where can I go that’s more fun than here?”
  17.  “Thank you SO MUCH (with no tip).”
    thank you2
  18. “What do you guys have here? (asked at what is clearly a full bar)”
  19. “What’s the healthiest alcohol?”
  20.  “What do you have that’s free for the bachelorette??”
    bachelorette party

 

 

 

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