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Jokes: Bartender Jokes

THE 10 BEST BARTENDER JOKES

You’ve probably heard a bartender tell a joke or two over the years… We all know bartenders should have a few good ones locked and loaded.  Here are the 10 best:

laugh

  1. A woman holding a duck walks into a bar.  The bartender says, “Where’d you get the pig?”  The woman responds, “It’s not a pig, it’s a duck.”  The bartender says, “I was talking to the duck.”

  2. A man comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife.  “What, do you expect me to spread my legs now?” says the wife.  The husband responds, “Honey, I love you, but I think a vase will work just fine.”

  3. Q:  What did the sign on the whorehouse say?
    A: Beat it, we’re closed.


  4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra..

  5. Q: How do you make Lady Gaga cry?
    A:  Poke-her-face.


  6. The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.  It was tense.

  7. A woman walks in the bar and asks for double entendre.  So he gives it to her.

  8. Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

  9. A pirate walks into a bar with a ship’s steering wheel attached to his pants.  The bartender asks him, “What’s with the wheel?”  The pirate responds, “Arrrggh, it’s driving me nuts.”

  10.  A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bar tender here?”

 

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